Secret Divorce
The life-span of a marriage could be threatened if either of the party is rigid, or myopic in their outlook on life. when either a wife or the husband fails to embrace positive growth, such couples endure or tolerate one another. such marriages, most of the time, experience: unresolved matters, constant argument, lack of mutual respect, no co-operation\unity, murmuring\complaint about everything. in this type of setting, divorce may be the end result. divorce is a terrible experience in the short run. there are lots of secret divorces today in our society, which are as a result of one of the things i have mentioned. what is secret divorce, you may ask? before i answer the question, i want to let you know that the effect of secret divorce is the reason why more men visit guest houses around town, elderly men chase young girls, married women get involved in office romance or go out with other men. Office romance and the like are the effect of secret divorce. Secret divorce is when either the husband or the wife is in a marriage physically without his\her soul. the soul has been transferred, not necessary to another lady\man. it may be transferred to a career, work, hobby or an enterprise as the case may be. As a result of their position in the society, it may lower their rating if they divorce their official wife. Or culturally they may want to maintain their status in their clan or villages. Or as a spiritual head where it is forbidden to divorce, they maintain the marriage. They are out together at public functions, stay under the same roof but are miles apart. While this is going on, the society or relations may not know but the people concerned are aware. It may be that one is rigid, and the other is not patient enough as to help the other see reasons. why there is need to be flexible about certain issues of life.
For flexible about certain issues of life.
For example, in marriage, there is need for growth. Spiritual, intellectual and financial areas are some of the area where grow is necessary. There is need to go for knowledge acquisition that will bring about the desired goal. If one of the parties does not see live that way, it leads to serious disagreement, and operating at the same frequency becomes difficult.
More so, interests differ, and this is capable of causing resentment. Very early in our marriage, I discovered that my husband loves reading. He introduces motivational and self-help books to me. He would buy magazines (both local/foreign) for me. You know what? Initial, I was telling him let me create an enabling environment for you and take good care of the house; I think that I should be alright. I will start reading when I want to go to school. I was merely using the books and magazines as sleeping pills. When I was ready to sleep, I would carry the latest of the magazine and by the time I flipped through them for a while, I would be looking for my pillow. It was that bad. But my husband was not angry with me. He was always telling me that I needed to start reading those books because there were things about life which were not taught in the classroom that I would discover reading those books. The message still did not sink. Through his persistence, god opened my eyes to see that if my husband kept improving himself while I failed to, a time will come when I may not be suitable for him any longer. And I was supported to be a helper a helper suitable for him, if I was to fulfill my purposed as a woman. That was how I came to his self-realization. I am grateful to god and to my husband for his genuine love for me. This article you are reading is one of the benefits of embracing the mindset to grow.
The lesson from this is;
i. we must see to it that we improve our standard of education. If tie permits, age should not be a barrier.
ii. We must be patient with our spouse for whatever change we want them embrace. My husband has been patient with me as I have been making genuine effort to grow. Being rigid is like shooting oneself on the heel. Get education, formal or informal. Embrace a new way of doing things, as question, learn to use the computer, and discover how the internet works. On internet, there are free resources that will bring you to a new realm of life for the best.
Preserve the life and romance of your marriage, be flexible and embrace new knowledge, new ways at putting an end to secret devoice in our society.
Statements Of Fact For Marrital Success
I was denied access to a banking hall recently by the new device installed to check the activities of marauders.
I pressed the buttons to avail. The computer refused to open the door to allow me into the hail until I fulfilled all its righteousness. I had to remove my handset, keys, even reading glass case which I kept with the security man by the door before I could gain access.
This is a good development for the nation in the area security. For every problem a nation or an institution or an individual encounters, it is an open door for entrepreneurs to create wealth.
We need more of such creative grace. To gain access to you house, you must open the door with the right key. Failure to have the right key at that moment gets you stuck even though you own the house. This truth is applicable to life issues, marriage inclusive.
The choice of who your partner is in marriage is your. It is a decision you take hundred percent responsibility for but there are rules, values or guidelines you must follow or imbibe to make a success of your marriage. Until you do what its demands are some the benefits elude you.
Just as it was impossible for me to enter into the banking hall, though I was in the bank’s premises, so it is for a man or woman who leaves out any of these values in his/her marriage. They are statements of instruction which must be followed.
You don’t have to put all to use at the same time. Gradually working at it and be honest to yourself in charge of situations. The statements are:
a) We make our own decisions in life. We are not totally helpless. We determine our own direction.
b) Faith is not something you discover. It is something you develop.
c) There is strength in conformity, but we must have the wisdom to know when to stand alone.
d) A lot of woman don’t believe in their men because they have no self-esteem. They don’t believe in themselves.
e) The strong-willed woman who insists that everything be done her way may be destroying her marriage, her man and her future.
f) Don’t underestimate the power and the wife. Just her approval alone can sometimes make the difference between success and failure.
g) When a woman denies her man the freedom to take chances, to act on his dreams, she is denying his very masculinity.
h) Your husband is attracted to you because you are what he needs.
i) There is more to belief in someone than allowing a person to go his own way unhindered.
j) If you’re married to a winner, you only have two choices: get in gear and move to the top with him, or get left behind.
k) When two people work together, toward the same goal, they get there faster.
l) It takes such a little bit of consideration to crate harmony on the team the results are well worth it.
m) Words are awfully important to a woman. Tell her how you feel about her.
n) It is some times the inexpensive, little acts of love that keep the spark of romance alive.
o) It is useless for parents to demand a moral code of their children when they themselves are unwilling to set an example.
p) It is difficult for parents to show love to their children if they don’t show love to one another.
q) I know that any man who is loyal to an unfaithful friend is that much more loyal to his wife and family.
r) Sometimes, purposely avoiding arguments and differences can be more destructive to a relationship than the airing of those differences.
s) Many wives are jealous of their husbands’ work. They view work as their husbands’ mistress. Take time to think on these words strung together for you. They are invaluable facts to add colour to your life. You are free to make your choice in lie but you are not free to choose the consequences for your choice.Such statements of fact have helped in building my marriage and are still relevant. I discovered them about eleven years ago from a book titled, “The secret of living” by Birdie Yager. I hope these statements shall benefit your marriage and put you in command of situations
I pressed the buttons to avail. The computer refused to open the door to allow me into the hail until I fulfilled all its righteousness. I had to remove my handset, keys, even reading glass case which I kept with the security man by the door before I could gain access.
This is a good development for the nation in the area security. For every problem a nation or an institution or an individual encounters, it is an open door for entrepreneurs to create wealth.
We need more of such creative grace. To gain access to you house, you must open the door with the right key. Failure to have the right key at that moment gets you stuck even though you own the house. This truth is applicable to life issues, marriage inclusive.
The choice of who your partner is in marriage is your. It is a decision you take hundred percent responsibility for but there are rules, values or guidelines you must follow or imbibe to make a success of your marriage. Until you do what its demands are some the benefits elude you.
Just as it was impossible for me to enter into the banking hall, though I was in the bank’s premises, so it is for a man or woman who leaves out any of these values in his/her marriage. They are statements of instruction which must be followed.
You don’t have to put all to use at the same time. Gradually working at it and be honest to yourself in charge of situations. The statements are:
a) We make our own decisions in life. We are not totally helpless. We determine our own direction.
b) Faith is not something you discover. It is something you develop.
c) There is strength in conformity, but we must have the wisdom to know when to stand alone.
d) A lot of woman don’t believe in their men because they have no self-esteem. They don’t believe in themselves.
e) The strong-willed woman who insists that everything be done her way may be destroying her marriage, her man and her future.
f) Don’t underestimate the power and the wife. Just her approval alone can sometimes make the difference between success and failure.
g) When a woman denies her man the freedom to take chances, to act on his dreams, she is denying his very masculinity.
h) Your husband is attracted to you because you are what he needs.
i) There is more to belief in someone than allowing a person to go his own way unhindered.
j) If you’re married to a winner, you only have two choices: get in gear and move to the top with him, or get left behind.
k) When two people work together, toward the same goal, they get there faster.
l) It takes such a little bit of consideration to crate harmony on the team the results are well worth it.
m) Words are awfully important to a woman. Tell her how you feel about her.
n) It is some times the inexpensive, little acts of love that keep the spark of romance alive.
o) It is useless for parents to demand a moral code of their children when they themselves are unwilling to set an example.
p) It is difficult for parents to show love to their children if they don’t show love to one another.
q) I know that any man who is loyal to an unfaithful friend is that much more loyal to his wife and family.
r) Sometimes, purposely avoiding arguments and differences can be more destructive to a relationship than the airing of those differences.
s) Many wives are jealous of their husbands’ work. They view work as their husbands’ mistress. Take time to think on these words strung together for you. They are invaluable facts to add colour to your life. You are free to make your choice in lie but you are not free to choose the consequences for your choice.Such statements of fact have helped in building my marriage and are still relevant. I discovered them about eleven years ago from a book titled, “The secret of living” by Birdie Yager. I hope these statements shall benefit your marriage and put you in command of situations
Why Prejudjing Your Spouse Is Unwise
It is not a choice you make through feeling or emotion. It is better to take the decision with understanding, because it is a risk that involves your life and future. Considering the fact that you may be free to make your choice but you are not free to choose the consequences of your choosing -the natural law decision on that. It is a fact that lies is a risk, since you cannot always have all the facts that will show you whether the choice you’ve made or about to make is right or wrong. For example: conception is a risky job for the wife. For nine months her orientation turns upside down, the discomfort and pain, sleepless nights, and the rest. But the goal or the desire to bring forth a child and become a mother strengthens and emboldens her to go all the way with joy, even though she knows the danger in the process. In the same way, the benefits that come with making success of entrepreneurial couple demand we take the risk. But the greatest fear of the wife is that peradventure the husband decides to take another wife, who will now come and be at par with her despite her contribution to their growth and success. This is a genuine fear, which is man made. But who tells you your own husband would thread that path? It is better to settle that in your mind with God as you embark on the journey. Generalization is a dangerous assumption in marriage. Prejudging your spouse is heading for marital dissolution. The devastating experience of your friend does not mean you would have the same. No two individuals are alike. It is not wise to compare your spouse with another person’s (Corinthian. 10:12). Your choice is your responsibility.
Back in 1987, one of our supplier discovered we were in business together. She called my attention to the d anger ahead, moreso, with step children. I told her we have settle that. About six months later, she came to tell me my husband was dating another lady in her area. Goodnews, I told her even though I was surprised, I did not show it. Told her if my husband were to take another wife, he would tell me. She was angry at my reply and left. Thank God, though I was angry did not take it up with my husband her we are today testifying to God’s faithfulness.
Even on my husband’s side, out of concern for what some women could not, he was cautious also. A relation of his came to challenge him (my husband) on why he should put me in charge of sales when his own blood sister was with us. His own fear was that I could be diverting money to my own account without my husband knowing. (this is a genuine concern, I could advise my son or brother likewise but the truth is that risk has to be taken to prove your sincerity.) According to woman is my wife, she had children for me and I trust her. If she should take my money, she would spend it on my children, I trust her, and I believe God is in control.” That settled the matter. The bottom line is trust. If you cannot trust your spouse, how then do you want him or her to trust you? The word says, “Give and it shall come back to you.” Without risk, there is no honour. You have to give a system a chance before you conclude it cannot work
Form the onset, my husband has shown himself as somebody can discover his trust worthiness in out relationship but me, it is my responsibility. My conviction about him helped my decision. He also holds on to God for justification as he deals with me in trust. There is no way you will go this far without one or two mistakes, we are not saints but God has continued to level every mountain and bring us out of every valley by his grace. When a man gives a responsible and responsive leadership, his wife will sincerely cherish and follow him. It is the duty of the man to create the stage; the wife shall surely decorate it with quality and beautiful flowers. You are blessed.
Back in 1987, one of our supplier discovered we were in business together. She called my attention to the d anger ahead, moreso, with step children. I told her we have settle that. About six months later, she came to tell me my husband was dating another lady in her area. Goodnews, I told her even though I was surprised, I did not show it. Told her if my husband were to take another wife, he would tell me. She was angry at my reply and left. Thank God, though I was angry did not take it up with my husband her we are today testifying to God’s faithfulness.
Even on my husband’s side, out of concern for what some women could not, he was cautious also. A relation of his came to challenge him (my husband) on why he should put me in charge of sales when his own blood sister was with us. His own fear was that I could be diverting money to my own account without my husband knowing. (this is a genuine concern, I could advise my son or brother likewise but the truth is that risk has to be taken to prove your sincerity.) According to woman is my wife, she had children for me and I trust her. If she should take my money, she would spend it on my children, I trust her, and I believe God is in control.” That settled the matter. The bottom line is trust. If you cannot trust your spouse, how then do you want him or her to trust you? The word says, “Give and it shall come back to you.” Without risk, there is no honour. You have to give a system a chance before you conclude it cannot work
Form the onset, my husband has shown himself as somebody can discover his trust worthiness in out relationship but me, it is my responsibility. My conviction about him helped my decision. He also holds on to God for justification as he deals with me in trust. There is no way you will go this far without one or two mistakes, we are not saints but God has continued to level every mountain and bring us out of every valley by his grace. When a man gives a responsible and responsive leadership, his wife will sincerely cherish and follow him. It is the duty of the man to create the stage; the wife shall surely decorate it with quality and beautiful flowers. You are blessed.
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